I was called by many names in my lifetime: baby, sibling, teenager, Uncle, In-law, parent, grand parent. At each stage, I took pieces of this journey and grew. I am not my father yet many see him in my eyes as I see him in the eyes of my children. We know that the joy of our childhood is lost as we grow and learn yet we yearn for both the learning and the childhood. At each step, we know what we leave behind, sometimes in sadness, sometimes in joy, but always with the expectation of hope for the future.
As a child I rejoiced in my growth and maturity, as my parents grieved for the lost child that then grew into adulthood. Yet, my parents again rejoiced in this new adult laced with strength, knowledge, guilt, and pain, knowing that the pure and innocent child would never return. As my responsibilities in life increased, the role of my parents decreased. Where once I was the student of their teaching, I then became the teacher. My parents became the observers, judging the effectiveness of their own teaching.
Now as a grand father, I have become the observer. I have grieved the loss of the childhood of my children, yet celebrated their growth. Now I judge the effectiveness of my teaching. And as I grow older with the hope of becoming a great grand parent, my role will again diminish. My family never sought fame, only the happiness of holding the hearts of others. Yet, I know that as I age into irrelevance, their hearts now beat stronger for others.
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J T Weaver 
Heart-warming introspections. In the process of ‘aging gracefully’..;)
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As are we all.
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Beautifully written and you’ve certainly captured how I’ve felt many times … especially now at this stage of my life.
I’m glad to see that you haven’t stopped writing after all and are continuing to stimulate us with your profound thinking.
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Thank you Joanne, I appreciate it. I’m glad you liked the post.
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Beautifully written. My own children who are now adults are making us wait a long time to observe them as parents. One day….sigh!
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Thank you very much. Better they wait until they are ready I guess. All in good time. You can use the extra time to think of ways to spoil the grandchildren! 🙂
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I’m so glad to see more posts up from you. I understand what you meant about moving into irrelevance – for providing the necessities to life, but as many have said here already, you have so much relevant knowledge to share and teach.
You are a great teacher by example alone, but I will never forget, and will always appreciate, the time and insight you gave to me at a time that I needed a tough bird to push me through an intimidating door.
I still laugh at the idea of being wound tighter than a tick whenever I get stuck. Anyway, looking forward to being able to hear about what’s swirling in your well-centred mind for a long, long time.
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Thanks Robyn. I’m glad you’re doing so well and writing so beautifully.
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Hi J T,
Happy New Year! The 1st person who commented to my words,…..I hardly doubt you’ll be irrelevant to your children and grandkids! Just a moving post. I wish my parents had your outlook on just be happy with the job they did, as kids don’t come with a “How To” manual….LOL..my family was a wee bit Crazy..Great Post! Catherine Lyon 🙂
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Thanks Catherine, I really appreciate it. And Happy New Year!
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“Age into irrelevance” I don’t think so. We may not have a prominent role in the lives of those we love, but we always have a role if it is only as an example of how to age gracefully and be at peace with oneself. Thank you for the visit and deciding to follow me.
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You are quite welcome and thank you for stopping by today.
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I agree with you, Iamrrc. We are as relevant as we want to be. The example we set and the courage we show is always important:)
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I guess you’re doing great with your family right now, JT!
Sigh…if I ever become a parent, I’d like to be a parent living not only with youthful energy, but also with mature thinking!
Right…I still need to mature more, though. Welp, better keep on doing my best and having fun, then!
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Thanks Bear, everything is going great so far. Thanks for stopping by, I appreciate it.
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You’re welcome, JT! 🙂
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i don’t think it really decreases, we just move from the foreground to a bit further into the background. we are still present in many ways.
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I would agree with that Beth. I could have phrased is better I think. Thanks for stopping by, I’m glad you liked the post.
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What an interesting post this is. I really enjoyed reading it and related to the feelings you expressed. Excellent write.
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Thank you very much. I’m glad you enjoyed it.
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Our lives are dIminishing and increasing at the same time.
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Interesting huh?
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yep….Speaking of diminishing…I am so sick with fever, cough, unrest. bah!
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Take care of yourself Heidi, hope you feel better soon.
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Watching my daughter in life gives me a great gauge of how good we were as teachers. Watching her with my grandson allows me to see little mistakes we may have made with her (or so current thinking tells us) but to see how committed she is to getting things right for him. And the love flows on when she llows me the care of this beautiful child so like his mother created from love.
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That is wonderful. Thank you for stopping by David, I’m glad you enjoyed the post.
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Interesting thoughts JT. Although I have yet to become a grandmother, I am so proud of the people my children have become & often reflect on the teachings we have passed on to them. Our lives these days are filled with caring for our aging parents, another lesson for my husband and myself as well as our children, as we sadly let go of a time when our parents were vibrant & independent.
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I was terribly saddened when my father’s advice became so dated. We went on to other things of course, but I missed that pocket philosophy so very much. Thanks for stopping by Lynn, I appreciate it.
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JT you have put my thoughts into words. Nicely said. Thank you for sharing.
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Thank you very much, I’m glad you liked the post.
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This encapsulates well life as we age, and moved into the beyond. I so identify with grieving the loss of my children’s childhood, yet wanting them to grow. That is the ache of parenting.
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Yet, it is what we expected, hoping that it wouldn’t happen and knowing that it would. Thanks for reading Wendy, I’m glad you stopped by today.
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“Age into irrelevance”: how true and how painful!
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Yet, it is life, AARP’s efforts notwithstanding. Thanks for reading Tom, I’m glad to see you again.
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I could not wait for my kids to become parents to get a dose of what they put me through. There is no justice as the grandkids are just delightful.
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Oh I agree, but I still feel like the observer. Thanks for stopping by Carl, I appreciate it.
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I knew God really loved me when one of my granddaughters acts exactly like her father used to.
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Funny you say that you “grieved” the loss of your children’s childhood. I specifically remember being down for a few days when my children both graduated High School.
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Yes, the first day they got on the elementary school bus and graduating high school were 2 sad (and happy) times for us. Thanks for stopping by, I appreciate it.
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