Children? Really?

Are you thinking about having a ‘mini-me’ running around the house?  If you and your partner have functioning biological equipment, you’re good to go.  And if you don’t, you can even adopt.  There’s no experience or qualifications necessary and there are no viable handbooks available.

Now lets look at some things that you might not have considered.  Children are expensive.  I don’t mean just a little bit, I mean ‘wicked expensive.’  In their first 22 years you could easily drop a boat load on each of them.  You can say goodbye to that hot Corvette with no backseat and say hello to a ‘family’ sedan or minivan.  When you look for your first house together your first question will be, ‘how are the schools?’  And every month you’ll be putting money away for their college fund because I’m here to tell you that sports or academic scholarship just isn’t going to happen.

Then there’s the other side.  You’ll get smiles and hugs that you’ll never forget.  You’ll create and hold memories that will never fade.  You’ll feel the most astonishing pride and the most heart-breaking disappointments of your life.  You’ll give out advice like it’s free candy and be amazed that it’s just thrown away.  When they are born you’ll be the smartest person in the world, when they’re 10 you’ll just be marginally intelligent, and when they’re 16 you’ll wonder how you suddenly became so stupid.  Not to worry, when they’re 25 you’ll be smart again.

Before you decide, just remember that parenting is a wonderful life, but it’s not for everybody.  Make sure it’s for you.

Please feel free to share this post on your favorite social media below.  Thanks.

About J T Weaver

The author of "Uphill Both Ways," a thought provoking series of stories about life, family, and growing up.
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35 Responses to Children? Really?

  1. rebecca2000 says:

    I love being a good mom. I said something similar in my comments today. I don’t think it’s okay to convince someone who doesn’t want them to have them, but it is amazing when you do.

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  2. epsnider says:

    Parenting is not an easy job and it is forever. As a parent you take pride in your child’s accomplishments but you sometimes have to stand idly by when you know they are making bad decisions. And bad decisions they will make. We all do. Somebody said { I am not sure who} that “one is only as happy as their unhappiest child” I think this is true ,but for our sanity we sometimes have to step back and let our children manage their own affairs. This is especially true for the relationship with our adult children. We can be supportive and offer advice if they ask for it but we mustn’t consume ourselves with guilt and unhappiness over their situation.
    On a happy note. My son and daughter in law and their two little princesses paid us a visit for a week in Florida. They are both excellent parents , but we got particular joy watching what a wonderful father my son turned out to be–so much patience and perseverance in teaching his daughters to swim and in general being a hands on Dad. We must have done something right as
    parents!

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  3. A truer post was never written. Thanks for the follow and putting yourself on my radar! I’ve enjoyed the couple of entries I’ve read through and am looking forward to reading more. Namaste.

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  4. I love the bit about how the level of your perceived intelligence fluctuates over time. Made me smile. I’m on the brink of becoming the cleverest person in the world. I’m hopeful that I will not be a complete disaster seeing as there are so many humans on the planet, the journey must be manageable, even though I feel that most of the time I will not have a clue what is happening… but I sure wish there was a definitive handbook out there!

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  5. slbossert says:

    I really enjoyed your blog. Parenting is the hardest job in the world and I give credit to anyone who decides to be a parent. My family is not very happy about the fact that I don’t believe it is for me. Why can’t society just be okay with people who don’t choose to be parents???

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    • J T Weaver says:

      I wish I knew. But happy couples that become seriously unhappy when they have kids are of no use to anyone, especially the children themselves. Thanks for stopping by today, I really appreciate it.

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  6. joannesisco says:

    I’ve done many things in my life – most were difficult and challenging, some were adventurous, a few were outright dangerous – but parenthood is a category all of its own. As you stated so well, it’s breathtaking when it’s good, and heartbreaking when it’s scary. We enter into it with so much optimism and excitement … only to realize later how naive we were.
    Only in hindsight can I say that parenthood is the single most important and courageous thing I’ve ever done. There’s not even a close second.
    Thanks again for another great post.

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  7. ashleecowles says:

    Great distinction between short-term happiness (getting that boat) and what I suspect must be a more difficult, but longer lasting joy.

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  8. So true! I heard it can drive some people nuts! 😉

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  9. Rebecca says:

    J T, Are you blogging again? I haven’t been responding to anyone for awhile because of holidays and then I started see your posts so was just wondering.

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  10. Ah, how well I remember those days. At first it seems like it will last forever, but before you know it you are packing them off to college.

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  11. Sharon Nyatanga says:

    Yep, I had those phases, from promoting the parents as being smart then partially smart then plain inhuman, and though I haven’t reached 25, I’m back to thinking they are smart after all. Amazing perks of parenting.

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  12. Brenda says:

    No one can understand what it is to be a parent until, willy nilly, there you are. You grow with the job, though, if you try to every day.

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  13. Nice 270 JT! Here’s a question for you. In spite of being a pro lifer….literally… in response to a big mistake, but also in loving toward family planning and eventual creation with my husband of a lovely son and two brilliant daughters…I must ask….IS IT NORMAL TO sometimes obsessively think on abortion toward my teenage children? (JK They are wonderful.)

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  14. Lisa says:

    All things we considered several years ago. We also, in spite of coming from huge families, decided to only have one in order to not increase the world population. We also waited until later in life (I was 36) in order to get single life out of our systems so we could concentrate 24/7 on that little entity (who told us once he came originally from Saturn and chose us as parents on earth). That fat, imaginative baby is now tall and lean and 18. In the throes of parenting it seems like it will never end, and then it’s gone. Or at least changes. So we also have to think about if we can commit the time to this little person, and put ourselves as second priority. As you say above, it’s not for everybody, no matter what society makes you think. Good post and thank you.

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  15. ksbeth says:

    fantastic advice. spoken by a voice of experience. )

    Like

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