Tag Archives: humor

30

30 is such a good age.  You’re close enough to your prime in your 20s, yet now growing into a nice maturity where you make fewer mistakes and enjoy life more.  You might be getting married or even starting a … Continue reading

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The Plant Speaketh

Today I sit in the quiet of the morning with the faint tap of rain on the roof and the click of my keyboard. It’s a perfect writing atmosphere. A little while ago, I heard a little whispered voice say, … Continue reading

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63. If Only This Was Possible

“Dad!  Is that you?” “Of course, you don’t recognize your own father?” “Well, …  you look terrific, I mean, … when I last saw you 10 years ago …” “Ya, Alzheimer’s does that to you.  You look pretty chipper for … Continue reading

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62. Lazy

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My father was a Mechanical Engineer.  That was how he defined himself.  Sure, he retired as the Executive Vice-President of the company where he worked for 42 years, but he was always an engineer first.  The precision necessary for the … Continue reading

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61. Water, Air, and Dirt

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My father was a bit of a pocket philosopher.  There wasn’t an occasion or event that couldn’t be summed by a clever quip that he had learned while growing up.  Some of these clever quips turned into what appeared to … Continue reading

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60. The Commute to Work

I drove to work for nearly 30 years.  Only briefly did I ever have a passenger along.  There was always some excuse for that.  My hours were often strange or I lived in places where no one else lived.  Of … Continue reading

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58. Our Dinner Table

Both Mom and I had been raised with the tradition of the evening meal at the dinner table.  So it was easy for us to adopt the same traditions for our family.  Mom had eaten dinner many times at my … Continue reading

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53. The Pileated Woodpecker

As the children were getting a bit older, it was finally time to share some of my own stories at the dinner table. Some of those stories were repetitions of those my father had told me, but some, like the … Continue reading

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49. Nantucket and Atom Ant

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The remaining 25 of us on the program at GTE were notified on May 1st that we would be going to Northern Virginia on temporary assignment (TDY) on June 1, 1991.  The TDY would last for 6 months and then … Continue reading

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37. The Bat

Karen had grown up in a log cabin at New Germany State Park in Garrett County, Western Maryland where her father was the Park Manager.   So she was used to a wide variety of creatures that roamed the woods.  Bear, … Continue reading

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36. The Food of the Cape

When I took the job at AT&T, part of the move was to rent the apartment that was available in a building that Elinor owned.  Her mother (Gram) lived on the first floor, her nephew Gary lived on the second … Continue reading

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35. Oracle

One of the first things Karen wanted to do when we got back from our honeymoon was find a good job.  The job market wasn’t that bad in 1985 and so she had a lot of choices.  One ad that … Continue reading

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34. The Cows

I had never considered myself to be a particularly funny person.  Oh sure I could tell a joke if I was forced into it, but I was more known for the bizarre way I looked at things.  (See Temperature or … Continue reading

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33. The Wave

This is such a simple thing.  It’s used as a greeting, a salutation, a parting gesture, and sometimes even an epithet signifying the owners’ ignorance.  But we all wave at people that we know and don’t know as a way … Continue reading

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32. The One You Waited For, Part 2

I got home very late Thursday night, completely exhausted (that happens when you get 3 hours of sleep a night), and full of thoughts of San Francisco.  I spent my day off on Friday walking and thinking.  I walked to … Continue reading

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31. The One You Waited For, Part 1

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Well, my children this is the one.  This is the story that you have heard at the dinner table countless times, debated by your mother and I as to how this or that happened, and always ending the same way … Continue reading

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8. Physical Weirdness

In our house the focal point of every new topic, every new discussion, and ultimately every new clever story was at the dinner table.  The evening meal was when every member of the family was present at the same time.  … Continue reading

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7. The Piano

For as long as I can remember there was always a shiny black Steinway Baby Grand Piano in our house.  Neither of my parents could play it but I think it served two very important purposes.  First it was an … Continue reading

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6. Gullible Electrons

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One day my father explained to me that in the wintertime electricity was stored in the carpet.  I was only eight years old and my skepticism was met with a wry smile and the offer of proof.  “Take off your … Continue reading

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4. 2nd Grade at Sippican

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I didn’t understand it.  It was raining.  It was always raining.  I had my Davy Crockett fringed jacket and my Daniel Boone ‘coonskin cap and I was, as usual, ready to explore the acres of woods around the house.  So, … Continue reading

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1. 4th of July

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My sister Barbara was 10 years old and my sister Janis was 8 years old when I was born.  Since my parents were both in their late 30s at the time, clearly I was an accident.  Nevertheless, in some fashion, … Continue reading

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Thoughts That Parents Should Consider

Recently I read the “20 Marriage Tips Everyone Needs To Know,” by Gerald Rogers and the response article “10 Marriage Tips Every Wife Needs To Hear,” by Karen Lodato.  While both of these articles are excellent, I began to wonder … Continue reading

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The Tags

Frustration is the difference between what you think it should be and what it is.  I used this expression endlessly during my career.  I have found that people will be happy with just about anything if they are prepared for … Continue reading

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Sugar and Spice, and Everything Nice? — Guest Post

Sugar and Spice, and Everything Nice? By Holly Patrone http://www.hpatrone.com I’ve written two humorous novels, ‘Death Is a Relative Thing’ and ‘Relative Identity’.  They aren’t memoirs but it’s hard not to let bits and pieces of real life roll into … Continue reading

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Great Horned Owl

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It’s official, I am going to introduce an ordinance in Prince William County that no one beyond a certain age and of questionable heart activity shall be allowed on their front porch after 11:30 pm.  Yes, that’s right, I did … Continue reading

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The Eyes Have It

When I first met the woman who would become my wife, I noticed that when she became very tired, her left eye would turn in slightly.  We would most often call this ‘lazy eye’ even though there are much more … Continue reading

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RaSHi

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I would like to think that this is the last of my wildlife stories, but there are always new members of the animal kingdom that wander in from time to time.  There is one important difference with this story; it … Continue reading

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The Buck

I’m beginning to think that perhaps my front porch is not a very good place for me.  It is my porch and I like being out there, but … Last night, at 11:30 pm as usual, I was again standing … Continue reading

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Big Yogi

Last Sunday night I ventured out onto the front porch.  It was around 11:30 pm and the waxing crescent moon had already set.  Most of our neighbors keep an outside light on during the night so there are always faint … Continue reading

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Copyrights and other such things

One of my very favorite record albums of all time is Sgt. Peppers.  I bought it in the fall of 1967 and played it until the vinyl groves melted away.  Eventually I had to buy the record again.  When I … Continue reading

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How Did I Ever Survive

Now that I’m retired and generally wandering aimlessly through life, I have a chance to notice things that before had escaped my attention. I started thinking of all the little labels and warnings that seem to permeate our lives.  I … Continue reading

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So You Want To Publish

I’m very new at this.  In 6 months, I’ve gone from never having written anything at all to being a published author.  It just shows what is possible in our modern world.  I’ve gone from complete ignorance of the literary … Continue reading

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Watching the Time

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For Sarah on her 26th birthday. Interesting isn’t it?  How do you watch something that doesn’t exist?  You can’t touch it or feel it, yet it rules your life.  At first, you only had to make the kindergarten bus and … Continue reading

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High Hopes – Guest Post

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High Hopes by Erica Douglas http://www.preachteach.com Once there was a little old ant.  In this case, there were thousands of little old ants. On the way home from one of our late summer evening walks, my three-year-old noticed a large … Continue reading

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The Farm – Guest Post

The Farm By:  Mary Ann Miller http://writersdaybook.wordpress.com There is a large two-story farmhouse that sits across State Route 50 from the little town of Avon, South Dakota.  Over the years it has been substantially remodeled and although it sits on … Continue reading

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She will never, not ever, eat a tomato — and my daughter’s other lines in the sand – Guest Post

She Will Never, Not Ever, Eat a Tomato — and my daughter’s other lines in the sand By Terri S. Vanech http://pushingonarope.com/ We had BLTs for dinner tonight.  In this heat, who wants to cook? A work-related phone call rendered … Continue reading

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A Letter to Shem — Guest Post

A Letter to Shem By Deborah Agube http://deborahagubeblog.wordpress.com/ If I could turn back the hands of the clock, I’d start my childhood with the day you came into my life looking at your fragile, soft body curled up like a … Continue reading

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Dear Dad – Guest Post

Dear Dad by Sage Doyle http://sagedoyle.wordpress.com When I was a child we got poison ivy together working in the yard we filled jugs with water trickling down the natural spring we dug up worms to go fishing You never treated … Continue reading

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Switzerland has spoken — Guest Post

Switzerland has spoken By Terri S. Vanech http://www.pushingonarope.com We have a running gag in the family.  Basil and I squabble over one point or another, and then look to Catherine for validation and she solemnly declares, “I am Switzerland.” She’s … Continue reading

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The Law of Unintended Consequences

Now that you have decided you are going to help clean up the planet, you are probably looking for something new that you can do this year.  You replaced all the incandescent light bulbs in the house with the new … Continue reading

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Temperature

Have you ever just walked around your house and wondered how everything went wrong?  Try it.  It looks pretty normal doesn’t it?  It’s warm inside and cold outside.   There doesn’t seem to be a problem here.  Why am I doing … Continue reading

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